The Rhombus of DOOM er Love
by InsanelyLoserish
Summary: Hogwarts! The best place to learn witchcraft and wizardry. The best place to meet other witches and wizards. The best place to fall in love, right? WRONG! It's the best place to have you're heart ripped out and stepped on. I can tell you that from experen
1. A Formal Introduction

Hogwarts! The best place to learn witchcraft and wizardry. The best place to meet other witches and wizards. The best place to fall in love, right? **WRONG!!! **

'Ello my name is Alexandra Weiland (way land); I am a witch who goes to, of course, Hogwarts. I'm in my seventh year in Ravenclaw. My family is one of the few pureblood families in Scotland. I have a twin sister named Karin, who is in Slytherin. She might look like me but she isn't even as smart as Crabbe and Goyle combined. I have two best friends, Jeannette, the coolest person ever and Michael, the weirdest person in the world. Together we make the triangle of doom!

Now on to my fabulous looks, that aren't that fabulous! I have shoulder length brown, wavy hair. My eyes are a blue, that when you see them it makes you think of the sky on a stormy day. I was 5'6" about cough 126lbs cough. I have no acne of any sort. I hate to wear make-up, unless you count my Disney princess chap stick. I wasn't bad looking just plain, which was almost as bad.

My twin a Karin can be a kind person, when she realizes she's talking to someone. She looks exactly like me except my hair is a tad longer, but other than we're identical twins. And like I said she is like Crabbe and Goyle just in female form and isn't Draco's slave.

Jeannette was the second friend I made at Hogwarts. We met after the sorting, once she was put into Ravenclaw. She is 5'8" 124lbs, with medium length blond hair. She has blue-green eyes that reminded me of the ocean. She is so much fun to be around, she acts as if she knows nothing but actually she is extremely smart.

Michael was the first friend I made at Hogwarts; we met on the Hogwarts Express. He gets scared really easily, which makes it really easy and fun to scare him. He likes to act all cool, even though he's the biggest loser **EVER**. He's pretty cute; he has dark brown hair that hangs over his eyes. And his eyes sparkle when the sun hits them just right, they're a shade of green that makes me think of grass right after it's rained. He's also going out with Samantha Waterwoods.

Then we have Luna Lovegood. She is a crazy, insane Ravenclaw in her 6th year. She likes to standout with everything she does. She wears unusual clothing, and talks in a sing-song voice everyday. She is fun to be around 'cause you never know what she's gonna do next.

Harry Potter, to put it simply, he's my boyfriend, he just doesn't know it. And no, I am not a stalker at all! Shut up, I'm being serious!

Draco Malfoy! My oldest friend! I've known him practically since the day I was born. He is absolutely adoring, as long as you're in Slytherin, or grew up with him! However, I always seem to have this urge to punch and slap him, but I do love him.

This is a story of how my childhood friend is in love with me. The guy I love hates me. And my best friend is stuck in the middle. So grab a bag of popcorn, some pumpkin juice and enjoy!


	2. Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!

**A/N: Okay, I love this chapter, a lot! It was probably the funniest thing I have ever written. I hope that you all enjoying this chapter, and I shall hope to post soon, which should happen seeing as I have chapter three written already. Please review, I thrive on them! And thanks to my previous reviewers!**

**Chapter 2: Infatuation**

No matter how hard I tried Jeannette wouldn't talk to me. Michael and I sat next to each other at breakfast. Filtwick came around handing out the schedules. I was excited to see what I classes I had, and when I had them. I pushed my curly brown hair behind my ear with one hand, and with the other grabbing my schedule that Flitwick was holding out in front of me.

"Wait, why do I have potions with the Slytherins and Gryffindors, I usually have it with the Hufflepuffs?" I asked Filtwick, who giving a schedule to Michael.

"Well, that's the only way you can get your animagi training," he said, then continued handing out the schedules down the line.

"Okay," I said. I turned to Michael, happy thoughts running through my mind. "Hey, that means more time with Harry and Draco, Cool! I'm so happy about this!"

"Oh la la Harry," Michael said, smirking at me.

"Shut up Nancy," I said, using his nick name, which had absolutely no point to it.

"Don't call me Nancy," he said, hitting me with his schedule.

"But it makes you sound so cute," I said, pinching his cheeks.

"You're such a prick you know that?" Michael said, punching me.

"I love you too."

"Fine, maybe I do love you but you're still a prick. Maybe I should hang out with my girl from for now on!"

"Well, maybe I don't care. I could live as a loner…" I told him, pretending to cry and slit my wrists with a Spork.

"Okay, my little emo child," Michael said, getting up and walking over to his girlfriend.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna be late for class, and I have potions first, YES!" I said to no one in particular, as I ran out of the Great Hall.

I walked in to class. I looked around; the cold stone walls seemed even more inviting than normal. The walls were covered with pictures of Fred and George and other people who seem to be under some time of prank portion or just one of their usual gags, which caused me to laugh.

I looked for an empty seat. There was one next to Dean Thomas, but I didn't really know him. One next to Karin, but I would have to mental to sit there, I already spend enough time with her. Then one next to Ron, which was… perfect! I sat down next to him.

He looked at me surprised, and then whispered, "Why are you here? Not that I'm complaining, just wondering."

"I'm training to become an animagi, so my schedule is a little weird," I said, shrugging.

"Ok that's cool!" Ron said, smiling.

I said hello to Hermione, who waved, and Harry who completely ignored me. Then all of a sudden Fred and George cart wheeled out of their office and into the classroom.

"Hello class, today we shall be making the infatuation potion. It will make you become infatuated with the first person you see," Fred said.

Then George chimed in with, "The instructions are on the board. Begin!!!"

It was a rather difficult potion, but halfway though class everyone, except Neville and Karin, were done.

"Okay class, most of you are done. So, take a drink, close your eyes, spin around, and then re-open eyes," George and Fred said together.

Everyone did as they were told. I drank then I spun around many times, and my eyes opened to see… sexy Neville in front of me!

"Neville you look very hot today!" I said flirtatiously, walking over to him, trying to look as hot as I could.

I started to hug him, but then I saw Harry and Draco on top of each other making out! Ron was yelling something about how he thought Harry loved him, and that they had a special bond. I was still on Neville but couldn't stop laughing. Then Neville, the one I _loved_, started kissing Hermione! They were on top of each other, so I punched her, she pulled my hair, and I slapped her, and so forth!

"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1!" Fred counted down, although I could barely hear what he was saying.

The potion wore off, and I let go of Hermione's hair. Harry and Draco stopped snogging, and untangled their tongues. It was the definition of funirbing (funny and disturbing). They looked as if they were about to kill each other, and, man, was I right. They started to strangle one another. I was laughing, but as the same time really scared and freaked out. I had to do something, I could let my best friend or/and the guy I like die, that would just be _too _bad!

"Come over here, Draco," I said, in a flirtatious voice, hoping that it would work.

Draco let go of Harry immediately, and walked over to me.

He put his hand on my arm and said, "I always knew you loved me, love."

"No, I just don't want you or Harry dead," I said, stroking my 'beard'. "Actually it might be a nice change if you were dead."

Everyone laughed. Even Fred was over in the corner laughing. Then George yelled over the laughter, "Okay, well this sure was fun, now wasn't it?"

Everyone was still laughing some yelled "yeah," "wicked" or "hellz yeah". Everyone was enjoying the class except, Draco and Harry, who were too embarrassed. Karin, since she was too stupid to notice what was going on. Then poor Neville, who was just sitting in a corner blushing. I really wanted to go up and hug him, but that would probably just make it worse.

The rest of the day went without notice. Jeannette wouldn't talk to me, but I told Michael at lunch what happened in potions. He couldn't stop laughing for about an hour.

"So, Draco and Harry were on top or each other, snogging?" Michael asked, looking a little freaked out.

"Yeah, pretty much. It was the best thing ever! It was _magical_." I laughed at my word usage and how idiotic I was being.

"Man, now I wish I had animagi training, that way I could have been there!" Michael banged his hand on the table.

"Come on, we have a free period! And I have no homework!"

x/X\x

It was now dinner and even though it was just one day, I couldn't stand not talking to Jeannette. She was practically the other half of me. So, I decided to apologize.

"Hey, Jeannette about last night…" I stopped, trying to find a good way of saying sorry.

"I'm sorry!" we both yelled at the same time.

We hugged and, I said "I'm sorry I was just jealous that you got to spend so much time with Harry and I didn't."

"I should have paid more attention to how you felt. But you get so much time with Draco, and he barely knows I exist," Jeannette said, eating a roll.

"Well I don't _try_ to spend so much time with him. It's my parents and now he likes me. It's so confusing!" I said, with a laugh, and shaking my head in a fast motion.

"And Luna and I were _trying_ to get Harry to let you come, but he wouldn't listen to us. That bitch!"

"Don't call my hoe a bitch! You're just jealous since you're just a skank!" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I will if I want, you filthy little hoe!" I returned with raising both eyebrows!

"So we're friends again?"

"Sure as hell seems like it, doesn't it?"

Michael sat down in between us, his hair moving slightly in the wind. Then he said, "So are you guys cool?"

"Me cool with that git? Yeah!" I said, messing up Michael's hair.

"Ok that's good, you were getting annoying talking about how 'wonderfully hot that Harry was'," Michael said, fixing his hair.

"You meanie head!" I said, slapping his arm.

"I love you too," he told me.

"Well I don't think I love you. You have cooties Nancy," I squealed.

"Don't call me Nancy, how many times do I have to tell you?" he said, almost yelling.

"About… 5544354354367760886877 times," I said, with a huge smile.

"I love how I'm completely left out!" Jeannette said, smiling.

"Oh yeah, we should _maybe_ pay attention to you," I said. "Okay then skank, I hate you, HATE YOU!"

"That's better," Jeannette said, and we all left for the common room.

x/X\x

I had a very interesting week. Okay it wasn't, nothing at all happened, except that brilliant potions class. It was Friday the last class of the day. I had animagi training with Professor Lupin! Dumbledore asked him come, seeing that all his friends were animagi.

I walked into Dumbledore's office (Dumbledore didn't want certain people to know he was here cough Draco and the other Slytherins cough). I looked around to see if anyone I knew was here also. Corey, a Hufflepuff, Samantha, another Ravenclaw who was dating Michael, for God knows why, and Harry were all there. Gawd he was everywhere I was!

I walked and stood in a corner on my own. Lupin then slowly snuck in behind us. Then he was suddenly in front of us. "Nice one Lupin," I said.

"Thanks Alex," Lupin said, smiling brightly at me. "Okay, so you all want to become animagi? Well, it's gonna be very hard, you will have to work extremely hard on this. It will take a lot of time and effort. If are not wiling to put this before all your other classes then I don't want you here. Are you all sure you want to continue with this?"

Everyone nodded and then Lupin continued, "Okay, first you must decide what animal you want to turn into. You need to know every little characteristics of your animal. So now I just want you all to think about what you want to be.

I started to think about what I wanted to be. I thought about some type of bird, but it didn't really sound _cool_. Then maybe some type of dog like a wolf would be cool, but then I'd be lonely plus they might mistake me for a were-wolf, which wouldn't be any fun at all. Or a cat maybe a lion, but then it might scare people away. Wait I know what I mush be! A white ferret!!! I could annoy the hell out of Draco. It would torment him so bad. He would hate me forever, okay he wouldn't hate me but dislike, which might be an improvement.

I thought about all the minor characteristics: The eye color, blue, the fur, white, and all the other things. I had the ferret pictured perfectly in my mind.

"Okay everybody, now I will come around and collect your ideas, with the pensive," Lupin said, who was standing next to Harry. Lupin started to walk back to desk.

"What's a pensisivle?" Samantha asked Lupin, questionably.

"It's a device that you can store your exact thoughts in, it's very helpful," he replied very smugly.

He grabbed something that looked like a big basin. He brought it around with his wand placed lightly behind his ear. Then he would point his wand at the persons head and pull out a silver strand. He would then put the strand in the bowl then continued onward. He had removed all but mine, which took barely anytime at all seeing as there three other people. Now he was standing next to me.

I heard him mutter a spell as the silver strand was removed. He looked to see the ferret floating around with all the other thoughts. I couldn't help but laugh thinking about when Draco was turned into a ferret by Professor Moody.

Then Lupin said, after he had mine, "Okay everybody, I'll be expecting you next week and I shall teach the basics. Until next time, good-night and farewell." He waved at everyone as they left.

I wanted to stay behind and ask Lupin how everything has been going. Samantha and Corey left, leaving Harry, Lupin and I. Harry and Lupin were already engaged in a conversation. I thought about just leaving and talking to him later. However then all of a sudden Lupin said to me," I was so happy to see you in here Alex. You were probably my third best student, next to Hermione and Jeannette. But how are your parents doing?"

"Their doing well. Dad got a new job last year, since they no longer needed him to look for…" I cut off not really wanting to say Sirius. I knew that Lupin and he were great friends growing up at Hogwarts. I also knew that Sirius was Harry's Godfather.

"What does do now?" Lupin asked, knowing that I meant to say Sirius.

"He still works the Auror department. He travels around looking for Voldermort. He's almost always at work," I said, shrugging.

"That sounds interesting. How's your mom?"

"She is feeling semi-better. She was released from St. Mungo's last week. She's being taken care of at home by one of the healers."

"Jolly good! Send her my best regards."

"Will do my homie."

Lupin looked puzzled at what I said. However, he just shrugged it off and then said, "See you next week."

Lupin waved at me as I walked away waving back at him. I was so bloody hungry, FOOD!!! So naturally I went to dinner.

Harry P.O.V. (YAY!)

I was talking to Lupin about the Order, but then Lupin said out of the blue," I was so happy to see you in here, Alex. You were probably my third best student, next to Hermione and Jeannette. But how are your parents doing?"

I looked around the room, waiting for Alex to leave. Not that I hate her but oh my gawd she annoys the hell out of me. She's such a know-it-all and she's all buddy-buddy with Draco, which is never good. But the point is I _do_ really did need to Lupin.

"That sounds interesting. How's your mom?" Lupin said after I started to listen to their conversation.

"She is feeling semi-better. She was released from St. Mungo's last week. She's being taken care of at home by one of the healers," Alex said.

_Wow that must suck, her mom being sick all the time and her dad looking for Voldermort everyday too. Oh well, no big deal, too bad for her, it's not like she has to put up with the Dursleys, _I thought, bitterly.

"See you next week," Lupin said, waving.

"Ah, good ol' Alex, she was one of my best students," Lupin said, turning back to me. "Are you friends with her, Harry?"

"No not at all! She's a stuck up know it all, who complains too much!" I said. That came out wrong; I didn't mean to be _that _mean, just somewhat mean.

"That sounds nothing like Alex, but that does sound like Malfoy than anyone else."

"Well, there best friends, so is there a difference?"

"Harry, you have so much to learn about friendship, there's no other way to put it," he said, then left me alone in Dumbledore's office. I walked out and down to dinner. Come to think of it, I was starving!

Alex/ Normal P.O.V.

I kept on walking towards the Great Hall humming to myself. The hall was semi-empty, seeing as I was in class an extra twenty minutes or so. Michael and Jeannette must have already eaten, since they were on where in sight. However Luna was sitting down, eating. That way I didn't have to eat alone.

"Hey, Luna how was your classes today?" I said, putting some chicken on my plate.

"It was good; I had four free periods today! I got to relax, and do all the homework I've gotten this week," she told me. "You?"

"That's nice; I just got back from animagi training. Lupin's the teacher. Harry's in it too," I said, glancing at the Gryffindor table where Harry was eating with Ron.

"Was it fun?"

"Yeah, Lupin's cool. It's just I get the idea that Harry hates me, but I'm not sure why," I said. I wanted her to say that he didn't hate you, he was actually in love with you, but had a weird way of showing. Although, that's nothing Luna would say.

"There must have been a Wambleing Wardo in there."

"A Wambleing Who-do?"

"Wambleing Wardos, they fly around causing hate to float around in the room. They must have snuck in with the owl post this morning!"

"Sure Luna, that must have been it," I said, laughing at the stupidity.

"Shall we head up to the common room? But first let me search for any Wambleing Wardos around Harry," she said, standing up and walking towards Harry. I tried told her it was okay and that she needn't bother, but she wouldn't listen.

Luna was standing behind him within ten seconds. She pocked his back and 'searched' Harry. If you didn't know what she was doing, which most didn't, you would think Luna was feeling up Harry. I tried not to laugh, but it was in vain. Then she stopped and came over to me. She said, "I think there were around… thirteen."

I smiled, I knew that she was just trying to make me feel better, or maybe she was just having a Loony Luna Lovegood moment. We left the Great Hall all eyes on us. We got up to the common room; I went to bed, not bothering to do any of the mountains of homework I had. As I slept I had fabulous dreams about white ferrets….


End file.
